06 October

How to grow small men respectful to women

The average age at which one dna becomes a mother for the first time, for several socio-cultural reasons is always increasing. These are women who choose motherhood without being subjected to it, women who know what they want and who are informed by also learning, reading here and there, little basic notions of psychopedagogy. One of the main concerns of modern mothers is to raise children […]

06 October

How to teach children respect for the rules, with a smile

Basic education and good behavior in the community are not learned only from the great discourses but, above all, from the concrete example of parents It often happens that family quarrels take place due to disregarded parenting expectations. But attitudes and words “correct” you can not only convey with great speeches: it is important to pass first as original sin i. For […]

How to grow small men respectful to women

The average age at which one dna becomes a mother for the first time, for several socio-cultural reasons is always increasing. These are women who choose motherhood without being subjected to it, women who know what they want and who are informed by also learning, reading here and there, little basic notions of psychopedagogy.

One of the main concerns of modern mothers is to raise children of different sex by teaching them that they both have the same rights and the same duties. They try to annihilate the macho culture that has prevailed for a few decades. This is not done by growing small women able to fight to assert themselves, but by educating small men to respect women.

Women, having lived decades in a society directed towards the “masculinist” values ​​typical of patriarchy and which is now (fortunately) evolving, have understood that the secret is precisely that of forming the new mindsexactly the same regardless of gender. A research on the subject, which also gave rise to an interesting book on men raised according to feminist principles (Mothers (feminists) and sons (males) – XL Editions, 2013), was led by Patrizia Romito, professor of Social Psychology at the University of Trieste, and Caterina Grego of Telefono Rosa, authors of the aforementioned book. Children of pro-feminist parents have been compared with those of families with closed patriarchal imprint and the young men interviewed for the research all declare that the feminist imprint given to their education has enriched them by helping them very often in comparison with the fair sex.

So that children learn the lack of difference in rolesthe behavior of the father figure is very important for men and women; if the father, for example, does not really respect the mother, is authoritarian, does not share domestic tasks, risks to introject an unconscious machismo of which it will then be difficult to get rid of adults. For this reason it is very important to pass the teachings through practical examples rather than words: the housework must be shared in the couple and, in a manner appropriate to their age, also with the children. Never treat male children as little kings, rather involve them in all activities by supporting explanations that include the activities carried out together in what is (or should be) the normal routine of a family.

Unfortunately, in some cases, it is not enough just a family education to respect women so that their son does not become a man who uses and abuses the privileges that the patriarchy assigns him, sexist or even violent. The biggest stumbling block is the deafening media and social message that pushes children and boys to identify with a dominant male model up to the use of violence. A message that is difficult to contrast today but not impossible if it finds a solid foundation for tomorrow’s gentlemen.

How to teach children respect for the rules, with a smile

Basic education and good behavior in the community are not learned only from the great discourses but, above all, from the concrete example of parents

It often happens that family quarrels take place due to disregarded parenting expectations. But attitudes and words “correct” you can not only convey with great speeches: it is important to pass first as original sin i. For this purpose, the maternal and paternal figures play a key role, which does not necessarily require high voices, arguments or punishments. Indeed, the solution lies precisely in the assumption of reciprocal responsibilities , in peaceful dialogue and in a good deal of mutual independence .

Leading by example – Nothing has as much value for the children as the exemplary behavior of the parent . This means that if we preach non-violence (whether it be physical or verbal) and then even attack the relative, the neighbor or those who cut our path, we will have provided an absolutely contrasting example with our civil and peaceful discourse. And between the two, only the concept that aggression is the right reaction to any kind of wrong or injustice will pass. Therefore, working on oneself, as people even before as parents, is the first step to raising children respectful of the rules necessary for a civil cohabitation .

Being united in educating –When the mother says one thing and the father supports another we are faced with a huge problem: the children remain disoriented and confused, even convinced of having to take a position of favoritism. So, to educate respect for the rules and a civil coexistence, the parental nucleus (even the “multiple” of the extended families) should find a point of union beyond any couple diatribes . An idea could be to set up a mini-meeting to establish a shared program of education, at least as regards the macro-themes related to the typical problems of growth: school, friendship, family, emotions, sexuality, competition …

Sharing responsibilities –If a child behaves badly at school or, in any case, within the community, he immediately and forcefully triggers the “j’accuse” against his parents. It is often true that the responsibility for an uncivil or violent attitude lies precisely in non-education, and above all, as we said above, in the inconsistent example on the part of parents. But it is equally true that the responsibilities are not always entirely to be attributed to a negligent mother or father. In fact, children should be conveyed the concept that even during childhood or adolescence there is a need to take small individual responsibilities : doing homework, being promoted, not exercising arrogance, respecting teachers …

Do not always meddle in quarrels and critical issues – A classic of the classics: children argue and parents rush to instantly quell confrontation, in the worst case by taking a position in favor of one or the other. Life is full of clashes and meetings, so it would be good to grow up ready for these eventualities and educated to resolve them civilly and independently. In reality, parental work to prevent a fight degenerating into a fight begins, therefore, much earlier. Mum and dad should provide a child with the indispensable tools (dialogue, understanding, listening, culture, respect for the different) and then letting these be used independently and responsibly.