How to teach children respect for the rules, with a smile

Basic education and good behavior in the community are not learned only from the great discourses but, above all, from the concrete example of parents

It often happens that family quarrels take place due to disregarded parenting expectations. But attitudes and words “correct” you can not only convey with great speeches: it is important to pass first as original sin i. For this purpose, the maternal and paternal figures play a key role, which does not necessarily require high voices, arguments or punishments. Indeed, the solution lies precisely in the assumption of reciprocal responsibilities , in peaceful dialogue and in a good deal of mutual independence .

Leading by example – Nothing has as much value for the children as the exemplary behavior of the parent . This means that if we preach non-violence (whether it be physical or verbal) and then even attack the relative, the neighbor or those who cut our path, we will have provided an absolutely contrasting example with our civil and peaceful discourse. And between the two, only the concept that aggression is the right reaction to any kind of wrong or injustice will pass. Therefore, working on oneself, as people even before as parents, is the first step to raising children respectful of the rules necessary for a civil cohabitation .

Being united in educating –When the mother says one thing and the father supports another we are faced with a huge problem: the children remain disoriented and confused, even convinced of having to take a position of favoritism. So, to educate respect for the rules and a civil coexistence, the parental nucleus (even the “multiple” of the extended families) should find a point of union beyond any couple diatribes . An idea could be to set up a mini-meeting to establish a shared program of education, at least as regards the macro-themes related to the typical problems of growth: school, friendship, family, emotions, sexuality, competition …

Sharing responsibilities –If a child behaves badly at school or, in any case, within the community, he immediately and forcefully triggers the “j’accuse” against his parents. It is often true that the responsibility for an uncivil or violent attitude lies precisely in non-education, and above all, as we said above, in the inconsistent example on the part of parents. But it is equally true that the responsibilities are not always entirely to be attributed to a negligent mother or father. In fact, children should be conveyed the concept that even during childhood or adolescence there is a need to take small individual responsibilities : doing homework, being promoted, not exercising arrogance, respecting teachers …

Do not always meddle in quarrels and critical issues – A classic of the classics: children argue and parents rush to instantly quell confrontation, in the worst case by taking a position in favor of one or the other. Life is full of clashes and meetings, so it would be good to grow up ready for these eventualities and educated to resolve them civilly and independently. In reality, parental work to prevent a fight degenerating into a fight begins, therefore, much earlier. Mum and dad should provide a child with the indispensable tools (dialogue, understanding, listening, culture, respect for the different) and then letting these be used independently and responsibly.

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